Christmas Photo Shoot 2012

 

 

This year I returned to Washington Oaks State Park. We had a family photoshoot there with a local photographer with Operation Love Reunited. Before Ryan deployed...It was bittersweet returning. Remembering how things were 3 years ago. Here are a few of the pictures I took of my precious children.

 

MERRY CHRISTMAS

 

 

Week before Christmas

I lay here a week until Christmas Eve and have not been able to do shopping for my children . Now I know what the meaning of Christmas is and so do my children. I have also been making sure to talk a lot about helping others and how Christmas is not about getting 'stuff' . It's hard with commercialism to shelter kids from stuff. They don't beg for things. But still deep down I feel so guilty . I grew up baptist an different than my children . So a part of me still remembers Christmas morning getting up to find 'what Santa left' . I have never really done it that way with my kids because I still remember when I found out Santa Claus wasnt 'real' I was devastated . Silly I know . But I have always been honest with my children . It was them tht sort of chose to believe . The evil TV and even shows on PBS focused on Santa Claus . I always let my kids believe in fairy tales if they chose . I didn't I around saying 'if you are good you get gifts '
I could talk hours about the whole thing.
But as hard as i try I feel
Bad. Because I know I can not afford to go out and buy 6 children 3 gifts each . That is what I normally did , 3 gifts exaggerated like Jesus received.
It doesn't help felicity on her own with her sisters help wrote a letter to Santa asking for those 3 things . Its on the mantle still ....
I am filled with so much guilt . Our family isn't what it use to be. They fight and don't understand why . I don't understand. Why either . I never thougt I would be a solo mom . Ryan still has not improved he is still in ga. Until a few days ago we didn't hear from him . Now he has skyped and the kids have seen him . Full beard and obviously put on a lot of weight. A low tolerance when the kids are loud on Skype . He has
Mentioned seeing the kids before Christmas . I honestly don't want him here . We don't know him anymore . I'm afraid of what he might do. I don't trust him and neither do the kids . They have been let down and lied too so much . But there is the guilt again . The maybe or what if . Yes I know I am crazy.
I am scared . Once again waiting for the ARNG to pay this month for incap . So far pay and no les have gone up. So that means no pay before Christmas . But I'm ok . I am blessed to have 6 beautiful healthy children . While things here are so hard I am still thankful .

Melatonin and Labor

I heard about the study that reaffirms what other mammals have known instinctively for thousands of years… birth should happen in a dark, comfortable place. It also helps explain why most women go into labor in the middle of the night. And why so many labors slow down or stall in a hospital setting.

 Most  of my early labors began in the middle of the night. As well as most of them were born at night or early morning. Even with Sebastian birth story whom was a forced induction I went from 3cm to a baby born in an hour at 1:30 am. after I was sitting in a rocking chair in the dark.

The study’s abstract says this in conclusion: “[Melatonin] synergizes with [oxytocin] to promote [uterine smooth muscle] contractions and to facilitate gap junction activity [in a controlled testing environment]. Such a synergy in [a living human] would promote coordinated and forceful contractions of the late term pregnant uterus necessary for [childbirth]” (Sharkey, Puttaramu, Word and Olcese, “Melatonin Synergizes with Oxytocin to Enhance Contractility of Human Myometrial Smooth Muscle Cells“)

 It makes complete sense! Melatonin is the hormone responsible for inducing sleep. Our bodies increase production of melatonin in darkness, and most humans’ melatonin levels peak in the wee hours of the morning. Daylight and artificial light reduce melatonin production.

 

Some of the most effective coping strategies for labor are –progressive relaxation, hypnobirthing, visualization, breathing techniques–so it makes sense why they’re so helpful.

So… let’s just be logical here… if melatonin and oxytocin synergize to produce labor contractions, wouldn’t it make sense to do everything possible to keep melatonin levels high during childbirth?

And, let’s just be logical again… how well do you think a woman can  use coping techniques when she’s…

1) In a sterile, cold, artificially bright, unfamiliar setting?

2) Having an IV inserted, being given forms to sign, or being asked irritating questions about her social security number mid-contraction?

3) Being relentlessly interrupted by hospital staff coming in and out, sticking their fingers inside of her?

Unfortunately, just about everything about a hospital makes it one of the worst possible places to facilitate childbirth progress. If you really want to facilitate the birth process, take a lesson from your pet cat. Turn off the lights! Get to a comfortable place. Do whatever you can to relax and get into a sleep-like relaxed state. Let your body do what it already knows how to do.TRUST YOUR BODY.

 If/When it’s time to leave your dark/comfortable nest, take along some sunglasses and someone who can protect your birthing space from unnecessary distractions and interruptions. Keep those melatonin levels high! I have to wonder if a mom that is really stalling would benefit from a small dose of oral melatonin. IT is way better than artificial pitocin.