Christmas Photo Shoot 2012

 

 

This year I returned to Washington Oaks State Park. We had a family photoshoot there with a local photographer with Operation Love Reunited. Before Ryan deployed...It was bittersweet returning. Remembering how things were 3 years ago. Here are a few of the pictures I took of my precious children.

 

MERRY CHRISTMAS

 

 

Week before Christmas

I lay here a week until Christmas Eve and have not been able to do shopping for my children . Now I know what the meaning of Christmas is and so do my children. I have also been making sure to talk a lot about helping others and how Christmas is not about getting 'stuff' . It's hard with commercialism to shelter kids from stuff. They don't beg for things. But still deep down I feel so guilty . I grew up baptist an different than my children . So a part of me still remembers Christmas morning getting up to find 'what Santa left' . I have never really done it that way with my kids because I still remember when I found out Santa Claus wasnt 'real' I was devastated . Silly I know . But I have always been honest with my children . It was them tht sort of chose to believe . The evil TV and even shows on PBS focused on Santa Claus . I always let my kids believe in fairy tales if they chose . I didn't I around saying 'if you are good you get gifts '
I could talk hours about the whole thing.
But as hard as i try I feel
Bad. Because I know I can not afford to go out and buy 6 children 3 gifts each . That is what I normally did , 3 gifts exaggerated like Jesus received.
It doesn't help felicity on her own with her sisters help wrote a letter to Santa asking for those 3 things . Its on the mantle still ....
I am filled with so much guilt . Our family isn't what it use to be. They fight and don't understand why . I don't understand. Why either . I never thougt I would be a solo mom . Ryan still has not improved he is still in ga. Until a few days ago we didn't hear from him . Now he has skyped and the kids have seen him . Full beard and obviously put on a lot of weight. A low tolerance when the kids are loud on Skype . He has
Mentioned seeing the kids before Christmas . I honestly don't want him here . We don't know him anymore . I'm afraid of what he might do. I don't trust him and neither do the kids . They have been let down and lied too so much . But there is the guilt again . The maybe or what if . Yes I know I am crazy.
I am scared . Once again waiting for the ARNG to pay this month for incap . So far pay and no les have gone up. So that means no pay before Christmas . But I'm ok . I am blessed to have 6 beautiful healthy children . While things here are so hard I am still thankful .

Melatonin and Labor

I heard about the study that reaffirms what other mammals have known instinctively for thousands of years… birth should happen in a dark, comfortable place. It also helps explain why most women go into labor in the middle of the night. And why so many labors slow down or stall in a hospital setting.

 Most  of my early labors began in the middle of the night. As well as most of them were born at night or early morning. Even with Sebastian birth story whom was a forced induction I went from 3cm to a baby born in an hour at 1:30 am. after I was sitting in a rocking chair in the dark.

The study’s abstract says this in conclusion: “[Melatonin] synergizes with [oxytocin] to promote [uterine smooth muscle] contractions and to facilitate gap junction activity [in a controlled testing environment]. Such a synergy in [a living human] would promote coordinated and forceful contractions of the late term pregnant uterus necessary for [childbirth]” (Sharkey, Puttaramu, Word and Olcese, “Melatonin Synergizes with Oxytocin to Enhance Contractility of Human Myometrial Smooth Muscle Cells“)

 It makes complete sense! Melatonin is the hormone responsible for inducing sleep. Our bodies increase production of melatonin in darkness, and most humans’ melatonin levels peak in the wee hours of the morning. Daylight and artificial light reduce melatonin production.

 

Some of the most effective coping strategies for labor are –progressive relaxation, hypnobirthing, visualization, breathing techniques–so it makes sense why they’re so helpful.

So… let’s just be logical here… if melatonin and oxytocin synergize to produce labor contractions, wouldn’t it make sense to do everything possible to keep melatonin levels high during childbirth?

And, let’s just be logical again… how well do you think a woman can  use coping techniques when she’s…

1) In a sterile, cold, artificially bright, unfamiliar setting?

2) Having an IV inserted, being given forms to sign, or being asked irritating questions about her social security number mid-contraction?

3) Being relentlessly interrupted by hospital staff coming in and out, sticking their fingers inside of her?

Unfortunately, just about everything about a hospital makes it one of the worst possible places to facilitate childbirth progress. If you really want to facilitate the birth process, take a lesson from your pet cat. Turn off the lights! Get to a comfortable place. Do whatever you can to relax and get into a sleep-like relaxed state. Let your body do what it already knows how to do.TRUST YOUR BODY.

 If/When it’s time to leave your dark/comfortable nest, take along some sunglasses and someone who can protect your birthing space from unnecessary distractions and interruptions. Keep those melatonin levels high! I have to wonder if a mom that is really stalling would benefit from a small dose of oral melatonin. IT is way better than artificial pitocin.

 

Want the best Essential oils?

This is a great time of year to stock up on Young Living Oils. The holiday sets are out and such a great deal. Please take a look at my website , scroll down and take a look of just some of the new Home Kits. https://www.youngliving.org/lisaolschewske.

The Healthy Home Mini Kit contains, Purification, Thieves and R.C. my favorites for the cold and flu season. I apply a drop to myself and my kids feet of the thieves. I also diffuse it in the house. You can apply purification under the ears for ear aches or infections. R.C. is great for resp. illness.

IF you have any questions about how to use the oils just ask me!

Christians should celebrate Advent,Christmas and Ephipany

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 Our culture tends to skip Advent and start celebrating Christmas after Thanksgiving—if we’re lucky to make it that far! Then it’s all packed up and stored away by New Year’s. This year, consider returning to the ancient practice of seeing the whole Christmas “cycle”—the period that embraces both the Advent and Christmas seasons—as one unit of joyous celebration. Preparation comes first, then comes celebration extending a few weeks after Christmas Day.

The focal point of the Christmas cycle is obvious: God becoming one of us in Jesus, the Incarnation. All three phases of the cycle—Advent, Christmas and Epiphany—hinge on and celebrate that point. These celebrations help us to name the ways our lives are caught up in the “big story” of Christ. And these feasts tie our lives to Christians throughout history. The tradition of the Church, the living gospel, is the real-life experience of Christians like you and like me, and those who have gone before us.

During Advent, which begins  on December 2, we emphasize the joy that some would compare to the months before a child is born: excitement, wonder, joy, expectation, even exhilaration at the life that is in our midst right now, yet also a hope and longing. We have 9 months to prepare for the birth of a child. Can we not give at least 4 weeks of our time to prepare ourselves for the Birth of Christ. I urge all of you Catholic or not to learn more about Advent. With our technology all you need to do is google about it.
This week in our home we are getting ready by making Advent Wreaths and hopefully a Jesse Tree, another tradition. I have not even thought about putting up a tree or other decorations yet. Im not saying decorating and putting a tree up early is bad or wrong. After all it is all for the Glory of God. I am just encouraging you to do more. Prepare your hearts for the birth our Lord.

During the Christmas season we celebrate the wonder of the Incarnation. How wondrously we are made that the Word of God would become one of us! God shows us how to live fully: by pouring out our lives for others. That is what the days of Christmas are all about.

 

And even after Christmas Day it doesnt end there! Oh no. We have The Epiphany. On the Epiphany and the Feast of the Baptism of the Lord celebrate Christ becoming manifest—that is, present—to all peoples. On Epiphany we focus on the three Wise Men symbolizing the many races for whom Christ was born. The baptism of Jesus marks the beginning of his public ministry. God’s “Christmas gift” of the Incarnation is a gift for everyone! ...

 

 

Last year I made this Advent Wreath and hung it from my light. IT is called a Chandlear

 

An eye opener

Tonight a brave amazing group of woman spoke out the truth about secondary PTSD this is part of the video
http://m.cbsnews.com/postwatch.rbml?pageType=video&cbsID=50135002
And here is the story http://m.cbsnews.com/storysynopsis.rbml?pageType=eveningNews&catid=57548725&feed_id=29

As I listened to them speak their words especially Brannan (whom started family of a vet ) and a woman that has reached out to me early on thru Facebook . Her words made me cry . I have not cried over what I'm dealing with in so long . But being an auditory person her words hit me hard. Yet she is a much better person than me. Because she takes care of her wounded husband . I don't really take care of Ryan anymore since he took off in may . Yes I did do everything i could to get him help at the VA , I got him into the shepherd center in Atlanta . I kept hoping and praying for my family to get a miracle . But it hasn't happened . He is the most distant and disconnected he has ever been . Sure maybe I could beg him to come home . But I don't out of fear for my children . See I noticed my own children were showing the signs of secondary PTSD due to their dad . I am still constantly undoing damage . Anger , hurt resentment . I don't really know if I suffer from it . Sure I'm exhausted from being the only parent . We have no family that cares and I am serious. No one from his family calls us . I have suffered recently with some health concerns I'm not sure what . Possible vertigo .
I can not begin to express how I'm feeling . My girls watched pride ad prejudice tonight . They are so into the fairy tale the love stories . All it does is make me deeply sad . Maybe it's the deep disappointment in how my life has turned . I am trying to play along because they were so into the movies and when mr Darcy finally kissed the girl .....at least they can see how they should be loved ....I wasn't suppose to be living my life alone . I had the marriage . Now I just have my precious children .

HMS Bounty

http://lisaolschewskephotography.blogspot.com/2012/11/hms-bounty.html

Ethan is an Altar server

In September Ethan and Tatiana attended altar server training . Ethan had been begging for a long time . Tat asked but I wasn't too keen on the idea . But I decided it would be a good idea .
On October 1 at the 7 am mass he asked Fr James if he could serve . There was another nice , patient homeschooled boy that helped . So Ethan wasnt alone.
He also altar served on oct 2 , his birthday ! Feast of the Guardian angels ! He served one other morning mass . Since then he has not because we were told the priest wanted all the new servers to be trained more . While I respect the fr wishes I don't agreed as homeschoolers we can attend the 7 am, mass . Everyone knows us. What a great time and way to learn! Easier and less stressed than a 11 am Sunday mass. I'm not sure how long it will be since now the priest that was training has been placed at another parish for several weeks. Ethan just wants to serve !
Here a few photos from my phone . One day he was book bearer and the other the cross bearer .

October 2012 ,Update

It's been a while since I have posted a big update . So I suppose it's time.

Ryan has been in the shepherd center in Atlanta since July . Remember in may he took off and basically left us.
He was in the share initiative program for veterans .
Initially I was so full of hope that a miracle would happen. Well so far it hasn't.

I suppose the program is good for some I read how successful it has been. However the family was suppose to be included in his care and counciling .
I had been constantly trying to get involved via FaceTime or phone with his councilor. It never happened. I was also told we could live in a family housing there and that also never happened .

Believe me I called and emailed . So I was either ignored or possibly Ryan instructed them not to include me . I was initially told he authorized it.
I honesty am extremely disappointed in how I was treated . One of the councilors basically finally told me he wasn't equipped to 'handle our situation ' . It sounds as if all they focused on was combat issues. Even though I shared all that happened.
I feel at first they were better than how the VA treated me. But in the end I have seen no change in him.
I told him weeks ago he was not allowed back here until he was better or showed signs he was . I also told the councilor this several times .
I can not allow him back around the children unless I knew it was safe.

Maybe I'm wrong idk. But a father and husband that has hurt a family as he has should be remorseful and apologize for what he has done .
He has hardly kept in touch with me or the children while in the program . Every time I call his apartment I couldn't reach him. He was given an iPad weeks ago and FaceTime with us, once . He had put on a lot of weight which surprised the kids. And left them with a lot of questions .

He only facetimed that one time . I emailed him over and over and would get little if any reply. He has basically disconnected with us.
He even missed 3 birthdays . He called after dehvins , totally missed ansely's sweet sixteen . I mean he could have written or emailed all he wanted too if he chose .
This is not someone IMO that is well or remorseful for anything . If someone loves their family they prove it and do all they can to make up for the damage. I have been told that this is what 'they' do. Yet I know several veterans of the war that are ok. That treat their families like they should. At times i find myself asking WHY WHY WHY? Yes I want that happy family life. But as much as I try I feel nothing anymore. I feel guilty for that.

I don't talk badly about him to the kids , I try to explain as best I can that he is mentally ill. But it doesn't matter to several of them.They tell me they are 'sick of hearing it'
 We pray for him . To feel I have done everything I can for him . It is up to Ryan and God. Without God he will never get better. Today is the date he is suppose to be discharged from the program. I have no idea what he will do. HE had told them he would stay at his step Moms. Yet he never asked her....

All summer I have still had to fight with the national guard to keep getting his incap pay. As I posted before its been an ongoing battle. Sometimes I go 6 weeks with out a pay check. I'm still angry with the NG about all of this. I mean he was injured while deployed . I should not have to fight for what we should get. And because of the mistakes I still pay for Tricare every month. If he was still "on orders" we would not. The disability is still being appealled.

Last week we went to Ga, not for happy fun. Sadly it was for another funeral. My best friend's sweet mother passed away. I had tried to contact my mom to stay at my grandmothers empty house. They never replied. So I stayed at a hotel. Actually 3 different ones because they were booked! I called my step MIL. She said it wasnt a good time for use to stay with her either....What?! I still do not get that. This women does a lot. I did go to see her. IT was odd and sad to be in grampas house and he wasnt there. But all his things were. We did not feel at all welcome there either. IT was dinner time, the kids were hungry and even the little ones said they were. She didnt even offer a glass of water. IT was very strange. Oh well, I should have known , right?

We did have a little fun after all. Seeing our friends. Hiking and I took the kids to see our old house. That was so sad. The house was vacant and a HUD foreclosure. The house is for sale for 50 thousand dollars! Yes you read that correct. We sold it in 2004 for like 109 I think. We bought it as a foreclosure in 1998 for 75. We did a ton of work on that house. Two of my babies were born in that house. I admit I had tears when I peeked in the back window and saw the kitchen and wood floors ryan installed. Even the chicken coup ryan built is still standing!
 Yes it is very tempting to move back to ga, Not so much to where we lived but we realize how much we miss it. I LOVE the beach. I miss my friends, the catholic homeschool group is so wonderful. I find I have much to pray about. Some of the kids want to move back the oldest do not. WE do have great friends here. But sadly we honestly dont see them much. Everyone is so busy with there large families.
I also went to see my sweet grandma. She is living in nursing home now. She seems ok, still has demetia . She remembered the older children. I felt so sad leaving her there.


This is me and the kids visiting my grandmother.

 

 

Me with Liz , I have not seen her since we moved but we kept in touch txt and calls...

Here we are hiking at Red Top Mountain. Not very rugged but enough for my florida kids...

Yes Sebastian hiking over half the trail...

 Nursing break.....

Finally got him to let me carry him .....so i could hike faster

THE END........

 

Soccer!!

Yes you read it I am offically a Soccer Mom...Ethan and Felicity started soccer this fall. Tat and Ansely wanted to play soccer as well but there was not a open team....

Photos from Felicity's first soccer game.....

 

Ethan at soccer practice (still need to upload his games)

 

 

Ethan is 10

One more birthday was celebrated Oct 2, Ethan is now double digits! 10!

Ansely's Sweet 16

Ansely turned 16 on September 29 ....She also had a small party. I got her a pair of Toms shoes for her birthday, she had been asking for a pair for a long time...