Nurturing Many Souls : December 2015

Thursday, December 03, 2015

Bullies, stereotypes and my son's hair

I know I have not posted lately. I have much to share and need to catch up. But jumping right in I want to share something that happened this week.

I posted this on my Fb wall Monday;

"I am so sad . I made a appt for Sebastian tuesday morning to get his hair cut. Between rude people , and even his siblings , calling him a girl for having long hair , he wanted it cut off like Ethan's.

I don't want to hear it's his Choice etc , no not really when others are mean and hurtful . He has never had issues with it or complained . Monday at the park one of the boys he has played with kept calling him a girl and even got into a fight ! I was not there , his sister was . Apparently it was bad , this boy was choking him and even kicked him in the privates . . I'm so over uncompassionate people . And little bullies . "

And I shared this with these photos on my Instagram;

"It hurts to write /share this and it will be long . My Sebastián has been made fun of a lot lately , people calling him a girl because he had long hair . I told him many times and showed photos of men and boys with long hair . Even Jesus had long hair . The final straw I think was Monday a boy in our neighborhood kept calling him a girl and even got in a physical fight . A boy his age . Bullies start young and are of all types . I know many think I'm silly for being so upset about this and it goes beyond hair , yes hair grows . He is still the same beautiful blue eyed long lashed spunky boy . Choose your words with caution when you meet others . Don't make assumptions based on appearances ."

A few days have passed and the pain still lingers. I wish it did not. I feel if he were older the decision would be different. I regret in a way allowing him to make such a decision. He seems annoyed at times with the short hair in he back of his head, maybe a sensory issue.

What really hurts are the reactions of others to his hair cut ' oh you finally have a big boy hair cut"

"oh you look so handsome now" "he looks so different' etc etc..

He has feelings! Like all of these comments do not affect him. I am trying very hard not to show much emotion about it. I tell him how much I love him. I help him COUNTLESS times a day with styling his new 'do' with gel , mousse , or water. WATER oh my he has taken several showers to 'fix' his hair.

Few of my friends have even said a word on fb or otherwise . Because I guess many feeling opposite of me that boys should have short hair (like theirs ) It hurts. a LOT. Even when I walked in the door my daughter said "omg mom you cut it all off" It was a very upsetting day and it got worse .

I balled my eyes out when the girl cut his hair. I felt bad Sebastian questioned why, and still will say "mommy dont cry again or mommy are you gonna cry again"

I still have his hair in my purse. I am afraid to take it out because I WILL cry.

I have so many things I want to say . But it doesnt seem to matter. In a world where children's feelings do not matter.

I will say this again, choose your words with caution when you see or meet others. Do not make assumptions based on appearances.

Here is my boy the morning before his hair was cut.

Here we are at the hair salon (let me add we spent another 30 minutes looking at pics of 'boys' cuts before he sort of chose, saying "i want it short like ethan"