Bullies, stereotypes and my son's hair

I know I have not posted lately. I have much to share and need to catch up. But jumping right in I want to share something that happened this week. 

I posted this on my Fb wall Monday; 

 "I am so sad . I made a appt for Sebastian  tuesday morning to get his hair cut. Between rude people , and even his siblings , calling him a girl for having long hair , he wanted it cut off like Ethan's.

 I don't want to hear it's his Choice etc , no not really when others are mean and hurtful . He has never had issues with it or complained . Monday at the park one of the boys he has played with kept calling him a girl and even got into a fight ! I was not there , his sister was . Apparently it was bad , this boy was choking him and even kicked him in the privates .  . I'm so over uncompassionate people . And little bullies . "

And I shared this with these photos on my Instagram;

"It hurts to write /share this and it will be long . My Sebastián has been made fun of a lot lately , people calling him a girl because he had long hair . I told him many times and showed photos of men and boys with long hair . Even Jesus had long hair . The final straw I think was Monday a boy in our neighborhood kept calling him a girl and even got in a physical fight . A boy his age . Bullies start young and are of all types . I know many think I'm silly for being so upset about this and it goes beyond hair , yes hair grows . He is still the same beautiful blue eyed long lashed spunky boy . Choose your words with caution when you meet others . Don't make assumptions based on appearances ."

A few days have passed and the pain still lingers. I wish it did not. I feel if he were older the decision would be different. I regret in a way allowing him to make such a decision. He seems annoyed at times with the short hair in he back of his head, maybe a sensory issue. 

What really hurts are the reactions of others to his hair cut ' oh you finally have a big boy hair cut"

"oh you look so handsome now" "he looks so different' etc etc.. 

He has feelings! Like all of these comments do not affect him. I am trying very hard not to show much emotion about it. I tell him how much I love him. I help him COUNTLESS times a day with styling his new 'do' with gel , mousse , or water. WATER oh my he has taken several showers to 'fix' his hair. 

 Few of my friends have even said a word on fb or otherwise . Because I guess many feeling opposite of me that boys should have short hair (like theirs ) It hurts. a LOT. Even when I walked in the door my daughter said  "omg mom you cut it all off" It was a very upsetting day and it got worse .

I balled my eyes out when the girl cut his hair. I felt bad Sebastian questioned why, and still will say "mommy dont cry again or mommy are you gonna cry again" 

I still have his hair in my purse. I am afraid to take it out because I WILL cry. 

I have so many things I want to say . But it doesnt seem to matter. In a world where  children's feelings do not matter. 

I will say this again, choose your words with caution when you see or meet others. Do not make assumptions based on appearances. 

Here is my boy the morning before his hair was cut. 

Here we are at the hair salon (let me add we spent another 30 minutes looking at pics of 'boys' cuts before he sort of chose, saying "i want it short like ethan"




Here is a video of the hair cut :(



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QYEub-CY0ag

Part 2:
https://www.youtube.com/edit?o=U&video_id=Nte2SkOOGT4






I cry now typing this moment.












We went to adoration that afternoon, and I took this .



My sweet innocent blue eyed boy.

Nurturing through injuries

Today was one of those mothering moments that I hate to have said "I told you this would happen"

 

The moment you hear your child screaming in  that voice that you know what it means " mommy I broke my arm"

See yesterday I warned this same child over 7 times not to use the skateboard with a dog . Maybe I wasn't clear,  she was letting Java our newest adopted dog that is a mere 38 pound lab Sheperd  mix , pull her while on the skateboard . 

This morning as usual they were up early before 7am , it was a gorgeous few days ️highs in the low 80's. 

I was still laying in bed checking emails on my iPad . I had already been up doing laundry .

When she came running inside screaming in that voice only a mother of many injuries would know . This child is tough she has SPD as a little . Still does .is often difficult to know if it's drama or real . 

But as usual my mommy instinct knew . And upon a quick peek I knew it . A broken wrist . 

She had been on the skateboard again first thing this morninng , but this time with Buddy our 115 pound blonde lab . 

She crashed in the street . Road rash up her left side, elbow , hip and butt . 

She was hyperventilating . I put on the doula in me hat and told her " look at me and slow your breath ,

Breath with me"

I've gotten better and better dealing with my kids injuries . I used to blame myself when they were little and got hurt . But after many kids I've realized they are kids . No matter what I say or do these little beings that were all once very high need babies turn into fierce independent youngsters . 

Today was hard . Taking her to the very busy orthopedic office spending two hours there . When i just wanted to be outside at the beach before it cools down again . 

It was a teaching moment and one I seriously hope and pray she learns from . That while I'm not or overbearing or strict when I tell them not to do this or that it isbecause  I love them and don't want them to get hurt . I believe in natural consequences for actions . I don't believe in punishing or spanking. 

While I'm sure some out there would be like she deserves a spanking . No the consequences of her free will poor choice today has caused her to be out of soccer and possibly the violin lessons she began this week, which was a birthday gift . 

The poor girl turns 9 on Saturday . And will miss her first spring soccer games .

So what does this mommy do after the orthopedic ? 

I took her to our favorite coffee shop for a hot chocolate with coconut milk and much needed coffee for me . Seems logical since we hadn't even eaten breakfast .

Live  learn and love ❤️