My 42nd birthday

Yes I'm 42! Friday the 13 (January) was my birthday....this is how I wake up honestly pretty much every morning for more or less the past 18 years of my life ....sharing myself between my 6 children....

It was pretty much like any other busy day at our house. Full with home learning, grocery shopping and laundry . Dehvin cooked breakfast and dinner and made a beautiful organic non dairy chocolate cake.

A whiny post

So I have not really updated much on the issues at home. You may choose not to read this post cause Im in a mood....A sort of whiny I can cry its the night before my 42 birthday night.
Ryan still is jobless...sigh...Apparently since he as PTSD and the TBI he can be placed on something call mcap??Still dont get it. Im told it is going thru the army NG channels or the higher ups....IT may be a month or so before we know....and the wondering I have is how much will he be paid? Then im learning its like a army version of workman comp and if he gets this he cant work ......sigh....not that I think ryan can handl much. I just do not know anymore. He spends a lot of time online applying....no calls. He spends a lot of time going places putting apps in....yet I have caught him SEVERAL times just sitting in his truck reading in a parkinglot.....eating junk food. Yes that is supporting a family. Eating out when one has no job abd 6 kids at home another big no no IMO and many others agree. The severance pay is pretty much gone. I try and try to not show anger but tonight I let it out. i am so angry! He wont talk. I try nicely. His TBI affects him I know. He just stares at me. OR he screams....SO tonight I am upset yelling to get his attention. Cause he refuses to TALK. ITs driving me nuts. ITs obvious he does not care about ANYTHING. So I get told its all my fault. I do nothing, I am mean to the kids . I basically suck at everything.
I am all alone , no family. My parents as of september have disowned me. Thats a whole seperate post...IT is me and the children.
There is a small voice saying yes you need to get a job...but I can not leave my nursling. There is no way I can trust ryan with th children....I have much to pray about but right now I am sort of scared to.....

Almost another ER trip

Tonight felicity raised up an hit her eyebrow under the bar/counter.
I was sadly at the store . So I told Ansely to have dad put the helschrysum oil on it (because it stops bleeding as does lavender) he didn't so I did as soon as I got home (probably 15 min later).
The bleeding stopped except some oozing . So I had the tough decision to make. Stitches or not? It's such a Tough call. We have had our share of stitches and it's not always nice ...it's darn traumatic . And it depends on the nurse you get .
She was screaming begging me not to take her. So I posted on Facebook a photo. Facebook has been such a help to me! I mean yes I'm married to a army medic hello! But he just wasn't helping . So after an hour or so and dinner and bath. I tried to steri strip it. It wouldn't hold together. So tomorrow I will try I butterfly it after many great Facebook ideas. A couple steri strips and dermabond on top. Tonight i put my oils and gold seal salve on it. And now princess sleeps....I will keep you updated on how this plays out....
I'll post a few Close ups in bl white and one of her happy in the bath that we didn't go for stitches.....

Happy about not going in for stitches the others are right after it happened

It is still Christmass

I have fallen a little behind on the blog...trying to focus on Christmas. As Catholics we celebrate advent as I posted previously. THEN we focus on Christmas..growing up baptist we did  not do this. I LOVE LOVE LOVE my Catholic faith and focusing on what matters.
We are on the 10th day of Christmas. Yes all my decor is still up and will remain up for a few more weeks. We celebrate thru Feb 2 which is the Feast day of the Presentation of our Lord. I doubt the live tree will last   but since ryan (jan 6) and I (jan 13) both have birthdays we will leave the tree up until then.

WE had a peaceful loving Christmas. We went to the children's 4 pm mass. just because many of our homeschool families sang in the choir. However next year I plan to get back to midnight mass or christmas morning. I found the 4 pm mass how shall i say this nice, full of grumpy people i had never seen.....

As usual I will share photos of our time. IT was so sweet seeing Sebastian wake up and walk out to see all the gifts and baby jesus in the Creche. We do not set out anything gift wise until christmas eve...those with little ones know why...

Merry CHRISTmass



My children surprised me with the last supper framed over the dinner table, something i have wanted for a long time.

Sebastian and ethan share a train/activity table but they all play with it.

The big girls fell back to sleep....

                                      

                                             Felicity got a pink ukelele as did a few others...they love music. I shop local and the ukeleles are cheaper thanthe junk guitars at local dept stores

Sebastian and his uke....he would not stay still

I have a love for simple wooden educational toys. We only buy three gifts each. Much of what you see was sent to us

I made a vegan triffle for Jesus's Birthday......