House fire update ; letting go of things

We are approaching 11 weeks since the fire and we are still displaced . I have been so blessed by so many that have been so kind and generous . Yet it is has still been so very stressful and traumatic on us . They finally began work  On The house barely 2 weeks ago . It's been so slow . I just want and need to be back home . 

They gutted my room-closet - bathroom it's been a dusty mess because they didn't do a zipper plastic  door on my entry to my room . My belongings in the living room etc and covered in Sheetrock dust . I will have so much ore work to do it is daunting to think about . They have not put it back together because the roofers are working (only 2 men)  once the roofers finish I'm told they will,be back inside . Please pray this goes fast . The kids fight often and the littles escape to the park across the street . I am back and forth at least twice a day feeding cats . We miss our dog so very much and visit him when we can . 

I did decide to go over and organize and clean my garage since my bedroom belongings are In There. Had to put away the Christmas decor that was still up when the fire started . 

I also decided to,do and get rid of a lot . Not that Im a pack rat but had a few bags of kids clothes etc . 

I've realized I can live with very little *stuff * again I don't even have a lot .

 It's been terrible trying to find anything I need . Cooking has been a challenge too . Not to have my pantry, cooking items etc . Food allergies are no fun at all . 

I was advised to throw out my 25 yr old California king bed ( yes it was over 25 yrs ) I know this is 

Probably weird but that was difficult and I put it off , because I've nursed all 6 of my babies to,sleep in that bed , my family bed for over 22 yrs . Lots of love in that bed . Lots of tears . Several home births . And lots of sick kids in that bed . But it had smoke damage and as much as it hurt I dragged that awkward heavy thing to the curb yesterday . I have no idea how I will be Able to afford a new bed because I don't want a cheap chemical one either . So I will likely be sleeping on an air mattress for a while . 

The next painful thing I did was I had to get rid of my rocking nursing chair . Sure it was already slightly broken . My kids were not very compassionate thru either task . " mom it's just stuff " sigh I pray some day they realize how hard and hurtful they were . You see the nursing chair I spent HOURS nursing Sebastian  in as a preemie , and thru a deployment , thru many many illnesses thru many tears and so on . But I did it I carried my chair to the garbage pile . Only because of the smoke damage I was told Wouldn't be removed . Yes I also took a few final photos of the chair. 

My extra fridge in the garage though I cleaned out any food was full,of mold it was gross so I also had to push it the curb ( but a guy took it to recycle metal ) .

And finally we had to get rid of our couch but for now I kept the small,couch because we need something to sit on . And I know I won't be able to replace it anytime soon . I still had utilities to pay at my house and I pay my friend the utilities we use . I need to pay her something more for allowing me to stay in her home . She still has a mortgage . That is way more than rent I pay . 

I guess the upside to this is that the menopausal weight gain I've experienced the last few years has now dropped off . The clothes I lost in the closet were from my skinny days ... I did buy myself a new Easter dress for the first time in many years ( and it wasn't a nursing dress ) but I don't like spending money ( not that I have it ) on myself especially when my kids need things too . 

I'm still numb by all,of this . And I'm sure when we are back home it will hit me hard . Sebastian I know was traumatized because he refused for weeks to get a bath ( my bathroom is where he saw the fire ) Felicity has been just a tyrant and mean . I know I may need to seek counciling but right now it's just so rough getting things done . 

Thanks to everyone for prayers and your kindness . I mainly blog this to look back on someday . 

Some photos :

The melted window where Sebastian saw the fire first is gone 

Replaced plywood finally the burned wood is gone but I feel,they used cheap wood 

My closet 

Sebastian wanted to sit in his nursing chair one more time 

Yes I took a selfie ( I'm a mess from working in the garage ) 

Looks like we have been evicted but this is what I had to get rid of that was damaged