Rest in Peace Daddy

On August 7, 2016 I received a phone call from my brother, Scott (whom I do not talk to) He told me our parents had been in a horrible car accident . My mom had called him (not me) Later learning my dad had suffered a massive heart attack while driving home after church (where he had just preached) when EMT arrived he had no heart tones. My mother had sustained a head injury also and an MRI was done which revealed she has a brain tumor (and to this day is not seeking further treatment) My dad was in ICU for almost 2 weeks following the accident. They tried to stabilize him for a quadruple bypass, he had a 90% blockage , the main artery in his neck was also blocked. He had suffered broken ribs and punctured lungs in the accident . He had fluid on his lungs which led to an infection. He fought for almost two weeks. I tried during this time to get to Ga to see them but was unsure if my presence would cause more pain for him. Since the last year and half my parents chose to no longer speak or interact with us, all because I was catholic. 

During the time in ICU I txt my mom some but she was slow to respond to me. My dad was not getting better. Scott had made the trip to GA twice in those two weeks and got to see dad. At one point dad did respond to them squeezing hands. 

Beginning August 17 my dad's heart began stopping, and did over 13 times . My brother told me he was not going to make it and that I needed to get there. Ryan refused to help me. A very dear friend Chrissy and husband Pat rented a van for me to go with my kids. And encouraged me to do go even though it would be hard. 

 I drove all night of August 20 into the 21st. I arrived  there around 5:10 am got up to ICU I held his hand and leaned over and spoke to him, he slightly opened his eyes and I think I saw tears . 

He then was choking and all that fluid came out so I helped clean his face with a towel. I remember the nurses coming in looking at me like i was weird. I brought  each of the kids into ICU to  touch him and speak to him . He seemed to know they were there. Then I sent them all but Ansely back out.

Everyone said he was waiting for me and do sense he was .I held his very swollen hand and he was burning up . I watched the machines and his erratic heart . I knew he was dying but not that fast . I saw his color change before the machine showed him flat line. My brother had stepped out of the room.

 He past around 5:45 am I felt and watched his color fade and slowly his hand was not  hot . My brother walked in as he passed . My mom was freaking out as he flat lined but I felt he was gone before he flat lined . I feel he died at the scene  of the accident as he had no heartbeat but they kept bringing him back over the two weeks and the previous 24 hrs over 13 times. 

I have the peace that I did all I could and should as a daughter . I have peace I did no wrong . And I will meet him in heaven (I had whispered that in his ear and that I forgave him) But I'm hurt . 

After the memorial and even most recent in txt my mom said they loved us very much but wanted the kids saved. Nothing I have said makes them understand. 
Sadly my parents did not have life insurance. My mom will require much help in the coming months I know . But do not know the details of the brain tumor. I financially cannot help her so I set up a GoFund acct to be able to help her now and in the coming months. 
This will be used to help her and help me be able to drive back and forth when needed to help her. As well as any medical needs.

https://www.gofundme.com/mommylisadoula

Rest in Eternal Peace with Our Lord Daddy. 

These are the last texts I have from my dad on my birthday in 2015. I am glad I saved these final words from him. 

And this was the last text from him in 2015 on tatiana's birthday. 

Below are many photos (warning there are a few of my dad deceased) 

He had passed at this moment below :

My mom holding his dad. 

I had my special Rosary in my hand and held it to his hand when no one was looking 

My poor mom saying goodbye once more at the funeral home . Sadly he had to be cremated because they had no life insurance. 

Rest in Eternal Peace daddy

My mom had took this photo of me saying goodbye 

We had to dig the hole the previous day for the ashes.Scott placed his ashes .

We each placed the dirt in the hole

I went to accident scene and prayed 

Scott got this from the police

Very painful knowing my parents came down here often and stayed with Scott but never came to see me. Scott posted on instagram this photo that was shared with me (yet scott says he does not use IG )

A few of me as a baby with my daddy

Daddy and me in St Augustine

One of the last few txt I have is this photo of him fishing with Ethan in 2014

The last photo my dad sent me after I gavehim a datil pepper plant and he was making datil pepper jelly

This is the last photo I have with my mom and dad it was a goofy selfie but I still have it.

In Loving memory of My babies

I sit here  remembering that tonight, April 20, 2004 I was in the early phase of what I thought was a miscarriage. I was about 11 weeks from conception. I knew from charting. I had seen a local pro life GYN and had a confirmed uterine pregnancy.I had went to see her because I had a lot of off and bleeding and finally had a Positive pregnancy test. She confirmed it was a uterine pregnancy.

The night of April 20 into the 21st is a blur to me.I remember nursing ethan to sleep and all his toddler antics and how I felt him lightly kick my right side near my hip. I remember feeling something odd, like a pop.  I remember bleeding and telling Ryan to keep an eye on me that I think I am losing our baby.I remember my right shoulder tip hurting . I remember getting up and down and going the toilet Because of the intense pain. I remember cold water falling on me, I remember being in the bedroom floor and ryan trying to get me up.I had passed out in the bedroom floor and apparently my glass of water fell on me.  

The next morning still feeling a mess and not feeling right.I thought I had miscarried. I went in to see my holistic dr . She  thought I was having a gall bladder attack. She had told me to go to Northside Hospital which was over an hour or more away because we were in N ga.

I wanted to go home first and feed the children. But my husband  insisted we go now. So he drove me to the hospital.

I walked into the ER, telling them I thought I was having a gall bladder attack but had miscarried also. I was checked and recall them saying something about a rupture. They had offered me morphine but I refused and said I would keep doing my breathing. An ultrasound revealed that I had an ectopic rupture. I was bleeding out into my abdominal area which was why I was feeling the intense pain under my diaphram. I did not know at the time how serious it was. Later I was told I almost died. All I remember is I nursed Ethan and they wanted me in surgery but I was crying I could not leave him cause he needed to nurse to sleep...The last sound I remembered was hearing Ethan crying for me as I was being rushed away to surgery. 

I am thankful that Ryan listened to that voice which I know was God that told him to get me to the hospital. The dr said if we had waited I would have died...

I never named my babies and this is something I am praying about...I also have 3 other babies in heaven I lost thru miscarriage, One was in October 1993, One was in July 1994, and another in March 1999. My husband and his family were not very supportive of my losses so I kept it all tucked inside. It has been 11 years since my last loss. And time does heal. But I have never forgotten and wonder what they would be like. But I also ponder that I may not have the children I have now. 

 I think once I became Catholic and gained more knowledge of NFP I realized I should indeed be following my heart and talking and sharing about my babies. The comfort I do feel is I have succeeded with at least 5 of my children in getting them to heaven. And I can ask my little Saints to pray for me and their siblings here. Lord knows I need all the prayers I can get. 

I have the laproscopic  photos still and can see my little baby in the ruptured tube...a few weeks later I saw the dr whom said I had a uterine pregnancy she said I must have had a twin pregnancy and miscarried one and suffered the rupture . I pulled them out of my shadow box to share . IT may look like nothing to some but I can see my baby .

 Morning Light Ministries sent me all these beautiful items to honor our baby. I highly encourage anyone who has suffered any loss to check them out. It is good for all beliefs, Catholic or otherwise. We just celebrated Divine Mercy Sunday and as I looked at the medal that were sent to me in honor of my babies I realized it was a Divine Mercy Medal. The back reads "I Trust In You" SO SO profound looking back.

This year, 2015 marks 11 years since THIS loss. Last year I was by a friend's side as her baby girl Paisley was born at 19 weeks, without her heart beating. Her blog is here http://angelsremembered.blogspot.com/?m=1   please go read her story. She has 5 children in heaven .
 Her story was also just blogged on another popular blog here http://allamericanmom.net/lets-show-love-to-all-moms-this-mothers-dayeven-the-ones-who-have-miscarried-their-babies-honorallmoms/
a MUST read. A photo I took of Paisley's  tiny hand  with her mommy and daddy's finger is shown.  This mother is working on pushing a campaign for Mother's Day ,  #HonorAllMoms #Mother’s Day . 

So much in one day

Today heaven received two babies from the same family. My dear friend Liz txt me early this am that her sister Regina had a abruption at 34 weeks they did an emergency c section but baby Jeremiah Joseph died. AND her other sister Christina on the way to hospital in labor at 38 weeks delivered on the side of the road, Gabriella was born still. I have no words.

Alot of anger. as do several. WHY WHY WHY GOD?! They are the strongest family I have known. Please go read these blogs one is by Liz and one is about their Brother,Father Joseph. you will be inspired. PLEASE PRAY FOR THEM.

Edited this am : Liz was txting with me and we were talking about Job and she said look at Lot's wife...
"She looked backed- and turned to salt. Looking back makes you bitter like salt"




Liz Blog:
http://peony78.blogspot.com/2015/03/my-heart-is-reeling-in-shock-and-pain.html


Blog about Father Joseph Please read this too :

http://aymcym.blogspot.com/


I am editing to share TWO links to donate to each family for funeral expenses.

For Regina :

https://www.tilt.com/campaigns/regina-peek-jose-vivanco-fund/description


For Christina:

https://www.tilt.com/campaigns/christinapeek-and-mike-garciacarreras-fund?invite=CNVBF2CFFACC99E11E4AB70E1A1504AF5B6&utm_source=email&utm_medium=invite_tilted&utm_term=inviteflow&utm_content=copy&utm_campaign=notification




Please continued prayers for this amazing devout Catholic Family.


~
Lisa

My friend's Blog about her Angel babies

Please go read my dear friend Kelly's blog about the many babies she has in heaven http://angelsremembered.blogspot.com/2015/02/where-to-start_15.html

 She is such a sweet momma and her and Michael's love for all their babies is beautiful and precious.

I was with them when Paisley was born. I am also a bereavement doula and I took photos of their precious hours together with her. A time I will NEVER forget. I also have 4 souls in heaven and posted here http://mommylisadoula.blogspot.com/2012/04/in-loving-memory-of-my-babies.html

Every life is precious from conception to natural death.......