Part two of more to come ...

As I said in my prior post more to come...
Wednesday I took the kids to the zoo since my pass expires . While I was there his sister , whom hasn't called me
Since early December called several times and ansely's phone too. Inside I knew why. I couldn't reach her till later . As I thought she is telling me to let Ryan see his kids . That he is trying . That 'you don't want to go down that road because he has a legal right to see them' to which I said and I have a right to file an injunction for all the abuse . I seriously could not believe her . She was nice an all but it was still so annoying .


I took two of the children to an already scheduled appt. We talked about if they wanted to see their dad before he left even though i already talked about it. they had all said no. Inside I DID not want them too. But I knew I could not if they wanted to. I still regret my decision. I think they were torn about it.
Ryan kept txt me making demands about things he wanted. I ignored his demands.
I ended up meeting him at the Shrine grounds. I took Sebastian, Ethan and Felicity. At first Ethan would not look at his dad.. Deep down I know now Ethan just wanted money from his dad (from a job he helped him with last year) I forgot the air compressor he asked for....HE had a cheap small one he wanted to trade for. Apparently he wanted the porter cable  air compressor to go with some nail gun he kept asking for that at the time I had no idea what or where it was.
So before I left he gave the littles a dollar and gave ethan a 20 dollar bill. Inside I was so mad as I knew that would cause much conflict at home. See ryan has not sent me any money since early december saying he is not working....Apparently he stated his step mom gave him the money to come down here. The same person that I have asked for money for food that would  not help. Felicity said to him "you smell like beer" and Ethan agreed . Ryan said he hadn't drank today and only had a beer once since he arrived. Which seeing him has me thinking he probably has a drinking problem . He has put on a lot a weight and his face too.
He kept insisting he wanted the air compressor and would trade me with the crappy one IMO. I managed to get txt proof he has a job lined up so I know that's why he wanted the tools . But I will never see a dime of that .Even if I get a divorce . He has already said to me ' if I divorce I will never get the amount of money I'm getting now via military ' if he is medboarded out there is nothing anyway IMO . More of that pattern of control I'm learning .
I went home and said I would txt him when he could get the pressure washer and air compressor off the driveway . I waited a while after I txt he could get t . I needed to go get my tag since it was ending January . He had left the paper I needed to get my free military tag .

Well poor ansely who is not well and made it clear she didn't want to see him calls frantic, he showed up and came to the door . Felicity let him inside ! He wouldn't leave and forced a hug on her . And tried to get into the garage which was locked . He demanded the key . She didn't give it to him. So he asks Ethan for the code outside . Thank God we changed it the day before . He really wanted in the garage supposedly for more tools . The. He asked Ethan to help him take stuff to his truck that was pared at the pool lot. Ansely was scared he would take them . I had already them do not go outside . But he had already convinced them to obey him. These kids won't listen to me but did to him! The person whom abandoned them and has abused them!
He left I got back quickly . I txt him he was not suppose to do what he did . He has no legal right here the lease was only on my name and it's expired anyway .
An hour later he calls and leaves a message for me to please transfer 75-100 dollars into the joint acct! He needed gas and money for food back to ga. I could not even believe the nerve!
I sit here broke all the time and go without food . I never responded . I only have a little bit to get me thru until tax refund . The national guard has not sent the monthly incap papers and I have emailed them. I told Ryan and he said he would call . With out that there will be no money.
I need to find a lawyer . I can't afford one . I'm afraid to divorce because I will not share custody of these children. . But if I don't I fear that . I do know his family will cause me grief and will seek to try to get custody for Ryan . Because I'm sure he has lied to them .
I appreciate your prayers . I feel no anger and am peaceful . I just need to do what needs to be done .