Feeling judged and guilt

So, what did Jesus mean when He said not to judge others, if He Himself was telling people how to conduct their lives? There are other sayings of Jesus that clarify what Jesus objected to when people judged each other:

"Do not judge according to appearance, but judge with righteous judgment." (John 7:24)

So, it would seem that Jesus' major concern is that people do not make snap judgments from what they guess might have happened. Many people (both Christians and non-Christians) tend to fall into this kind of judgment problem, if they are not careful to check the facts carefully. For example, one should not judge a person based upon the group to which he belongs. Not all Muslims are terrorists. Not all Christians are hypocrites. Not all atheists practice rampant immorality. Notice that the verse does not tell us not to judge at all, but to judge according to righteousness. If we cannot verify the truth about an accusation, we should keep our mouths shut. This does not mean that I will not dispute the facts or opinions expressed by certain individuals. However, such critiques are not personal attacks.

 

Why am I writing about all this? Well it seems moms and many people in general feel "judged" when someone says something or does something very different from how they feel or how they do some things in their lives.

 

I am very passionate about pregnancy, natural birth and  that natural course leads into breastfeeding and mothering. Obviously I am very pro life and against abortion. All of these tend to cause much hurt, anger and feelings of judgement when someone says anything opposite of what you believe. Or have done or experienced.

 

Lets go back to this: "Do not judge according to appearance, but judge with righteous judgment." I do not sit around thinking if a mom chooses anything opposite of what I believe is a bad mom or person. I have been accused many times of being "judgemental"on facebook because of articles or things I post about. I post things I am passionate about personally and want to share .

 I am passionate about many things ,  I am a birth doula, a breastfeeding advocate and councilor. OF COURSE I want all moms to experience the beauty and naturalness of a unmedicated birth. OF COURSE I want all moms to breastfeed. But I do not sit back and say to client if she chooses an epidural that she is a bad mom. AS a doula I am there to support a mom with her hopefully educated decison.

 

One of mypersonal favorite quotes I used at my breastfeeding group was this " we are all moms with different backgrounds, and we all made different decisions, you did the best you  could at that time of your life with the information you had at that time of your life" and I go on to say "take what you can use and leave the rest."

 

This can be used in many different places in one life. I mainly used it at the breastfeeding support group because I had moms that in many cases did not breastfeed their first child (or more) and I NEVER wanted them to feel bad or judged. One can apply this to many areas like I said. Birth, breastfeeding and parenting.

 

I haved found some moms feel so guilty about many things in regards to mothering they feel judged if another says anything different from what they did. But keep in mind we are not mind readers either.

 That feeling of judgement can actually be that other bad feeling word "GUILT" . Moms feel SUCH GUILT over so many things.We need to LET IT GO. forgive ourselves and others. and stop blaming. IF you hear or read something that makes you feel judged, think about it, maybe we feel guilt deep down . But guess what you shouldnt.....again LET IT GO, do better learn from our past mistakes and remember this :

 

"we all made different decisions, you did the best you could at that time of your life with the information you had at that time of your life"