"Don't have any time"

I would like to share an email I sent to Ryan's step mom the other day .

It's pretty self explanatory . Her reply follows . 

I just received my first call from my SIL since February . When she promised to help me with her brother . 

Her message was plain no empathy just basically ' I apologize for not calling I do care about you and the kids but I've been promoted at work ,

I'm working with my husband when I'm not at that job I have animals and a house to clean  I'm just too tired I don't have time to call u and talk for an hour" 

All I can say is wow! Look at me I have so much time don't I ? Six children, homeschooling , being a doula where I am gone at times for 48 hrs no sleep . I guess the family thinks I don't "work " they never supported me being a stay at home mom.

Here is the email I sent :

Gail
I hope you are doing well. I have been pondering emailing you for some time. I feel I need to and you can share my email with Kim and Kent. Because this is for the family basically.
I am not sure where to or how to start. OR if it will eve matter. I have not heard from Kim since February. She has not called me since she called me when ryan came down here with a uhaul trailer to get his tools and stuff. She begged me to let ryan see the kids that didn't want to. And she has not called me since to see if we are ok.
No one in the family calls us to see if the kids are ok.
Everytime I talk to you you say when I ask about ryan you say he is fine to you. How is is ok or fine? How is what he is doing normal? The family is enabling him to keep acting like he is.and verbally to all of us.

The past month he has lied to me and his Unit several times. HE was told to be sending his VA records monthly to his unit. HE did not. The past three weeks he told me twice he sent all of the VA papers to his SSG. WHen I asked about it he would get mad. HE said the post office 'lost it " he said he re copied it and resent . Again never arrived. Well the Friday he apparently went to hunting camp with kent . He promised to send money to us. HE did not. The military pay has been frozen as I told you. No pay since JUNE 7.

HE has played his games and lied since then. HE finally called Wednesday said he sent

 

You were a single mom so I expected you to get this. Ryan tells people I kicked him out etc. He is living the life he wants.
When he left over a year ago it WAS HIS choice to walk out on us. AND while he was in treatment he was suppose to keep me involved in all of his care and counciling. HE did not. I told him that IF he wanted to come back into this house We must know he is getting help and is ok. And he wont hurt us physically. HE was abusive physically 200 dollars. And the papers would be at his unit by thurs 3pm. His SSG called me on speaker Thursday HE said the papers arrived. The package was sent on July 17 via priority mail. Arrived July 18. Ryan lied again. He never sent those papers to begin with.

They are reviewing the VA papers and will let me know when OR it they will pay INCAP. So obviously. I have 6 kids here and trying to survive while ryan does what he wants goes hunting etc.... WHILE we as usual go with out food!
His behavior is not normal or ok. Yet all of the family continues to allow this. YOU ALL HAVE to do something.

Non of the family has any idea the hell me and the kids are going thru. And before anyone says I need a job...well I have one I have a few different ones . But it does not support this family. RYAN has not done what he should. And I am appalled Kim or you do not seem to care . I guess you believe what ever ryan tells you all. But I have friends in ga that KNOW him and tell me he is not normal and ok. All he does is lie.

Please let Kim know I am so hurt with her. She PROMISED me in February to help me help him and she never returned my calls , and doesn't call .

IF he ends up doing something stupid it will be on all of you, not me because I have done all I can .

This is his step mom's reply:

I will only answer one allegation now - I will answer all the others later -  Ryan did copy all the tons of pages and mailed them earlier - it was going to be $50+ dollars to send them fed-ex and he sent them in regular mail for around $6  - it was no lie when he said he sent them - I don't know if the unit received them or not - then he reprinted them all one day this week and sent them by priority mail - Darlene told him that was the best way -

I replied to her that I was not making 'allegations' I was stating facts. The fact is he did not send them when he told ME. He was actually suppose to send them all along to his unit I learned. And he knew this.
I am just sitting here shaking my head. I use to be very close to Kim , my sil. Keep in mind her sister died suddenly almost two years ago a month after their dad. The family treated Dawn like crap . They treated her as an outcast and didn't 'have time' to listen to her either because her life was not great she made mistakes. BUT she was the ONE person that did call me often . Dawn's birthday would be July 26. I miss her so much. She had a heart of gold. And LOVED everyone.