Back up to December ( Christmas) I get a txt from Ryan that he is coming down and is going to build the kids a wooden play set . Something he promised them years ago. I was shocked and talked to the older kids and they decided themselves they didn't want to see him . I tried to discourage him for doing it. And told him he couldn't just show up and stay here. He said he wouldn't . Then all of a sudden we came home from Mass the Sunday before Christmas and his truck was in the driveway.
So we left and I took the kids to the zoo . I had to keep them busy about three days away from the house . We lived in stress. All along I was like wow he can not send money yet. claims to have none yet shows up to build a wood play set, stay in a hotel and the gas money used to drive down.
On the third afternoon the kids were sick of being run out of their home. I cam home went thru the garage . I told them not to say anything to Sebastian because he was little . And if Sebastian saw him thru the window and asked to go out and see "daddy" I would take him . I told the kids it was their decisions if they went outside too see their dad.
I saw him thru the window and he had put on a lot of weight, had a full beard too. Sebastian went to the back door and saw him.
Sebastian said " who is that worker guy and what is he doing ?"
It was sad . Then he asked to nurse in bed and fell asleep . Ryan finished his project and left . He never knocked on the door the kids didn't go outside .
The past few months have been so hard still . We just got military pay for December ! But let me back up . Back in December the state went after Ryan for children support . He didn't come to that hearing before the judge. But called the judge and told him he was a wounded vet and did not work . The judge set child support at minimum wage for 5 of the 6 children. And believe me it is a ridiculous amount . I should have spoke up but I didn't .
I filed the joint tax return like I always do in January . Got it all done and e filed . Only to learn that the irs intercepted the tax return due to him owing child support . Yet they auto deposited a portion of it. I was depending on that tax return to take care of the kids . Long story short.... It will not be released until August !!! And the child support is taking the amount out of his incap pay but still has not dispersed it to me! Insanity ! I never heard from them so I researched and found out I needed an acct. on line . So I set it up in February . Still as of today not a dime! So once again I am struggling to feed the kids . I am so disgusted with the govt and the system in place . It is not helping my situation . I basically began Lent with al this news . So I guess I am suppose to keep offering this up as a my Lenten sacrifice . But I don't feel God wants me and my children to go hungry .
I covet your prayers desperately . I am " working" doing what I am good at. My photography and my doula services. But I seem to be doing more freebies than anything lately . Which in a few situations I really don't mind. I am learning a lot about running a doula business ....but that is more of a doula blog post .
Ash Wednesday
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